“Unwavering adherence to decisions, once he’d reached them.”
Don’t worry there’s no Bard music, it’s simply a Marcus Aurelius takeover and this is the first of three stoic-themed fatherly-advice posts.
Without further delay, in his book Meditations, Aurelius discusses, “What I learned from my father” and talks about adherence to decisions i.e. being decisive.
Given the option paralysis of our time, the endless swipe culture and reliance on gadgets, it’s often difficult to make a decision and stick by it. In fact
Bhogal of the , labels the social waste from modern technology digital dementia. A kind of idiotisation of humanity that we saw in Mike Judge’s hilarious but frighteningly prescient Idiocracy.Inversely, decisiveness can be challenging for men without fathers who don’t have the male guidance at hand to act as sounding board, resulting in sometimes over-decisive but ultra-rash decisions.
I think the key here for all of us, is that we forget that decisions do not have to be made alone. Major decisions should be shared with trusted friends and family, and if you don’t have time or access, then at least shared with your own conscience.
This inner dialogue should weigh both sides of a major decision. If possible try to think what those mentors, friends and family would advise in your shoes. Interestingly, this idea is tantamount to “kitchen-tabling”: a concept by thought-leader Scott Galloway to verbalise the pros and cons of a major decision to a council of people at your kitchen table.
During travel and a recent move, I haven’t had the luxury of a kitchen table and the closest thing I got to a council was asking Southwark to replace a broken blue bin. So with big decisions, I write them out on a piece of paper in two columns: Pros & Cons above a large arrow leading to my main, life-defining Goal. Then I see what my gut says about the columns, and align myself to the best choice that will help me reach my goal.
Whether labouring over a chart or speculating in your head, frequently making more decisions will make decisiveness a habit rather than a cause of anxiety. From trial and error, you will inevitably get better and swifter at making the right decision, while delegating less and shouldering more responsibility. This becomes a positive feedback loop that will last a lifetime.
If you ever get stuck, remember this line from a good friend who told me firmly from the passenger seat when I was blinded by indecision while driving, “Do something, just don’t hesitate”.
I hope you enjoyed today’s post and are already looking forward to the next one. Feel free to leave a comment below, share your experience, or even make a suggestion for a future post.
Please share this post if you think it may benefit someone in your network, or if they may be an ideal contributor for a guest post.