“Make a point to listen with your entire body – eyes, ears, head, and heart” - Dale Carnegie
People don’t listen anymore. If you are lucky enough to get someone to talk to you, they’ll typically give you a half-attentive nod, artfully simulated smile or––if a mobile phone has spellbound their attention––an earnest but mistimed hum.
When you do find that rare listening-listener, they’re likely doing it with forced courtesy, desperately waiting for their chance to get their word in. Crucially, they are not listening to understand.
One of the quotes I’ll never forget from reading Carnegie’s books was to listen with your eyes. Don’t listen to respond, listen to understand. This is something I cultivated when directing theatrically-trained actors on Shakespeare. I told the non-speaking actor to not wait blankly for their next line, but to listen to every word the speaking actor was saying, and let the meaning drive their gestures and reactions, so their own forthcoming line, would be perfectly-timed and genuine.
So let’s remember to listen with our eyes. We’ll delay the conversational-armageddon of talking over others, but more importantly, people will know you hear them, because your engaging eye contact will seal the authenticity of the interaction.
I hope you enjoyed today’s post and are already looking forward to the next one. Feel free to leave a comment below, share your experience, or even make a suggestion for a future post.
Please share this post if you think it may benefit someone in your network, or if they may be an ideal contributor for a guest post.